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How accurate is this statement? "During the last three weeks, I have directly expressed my personal love to my son or daughter daily in the form of a compliment or praise of who he or she is or has done."
Your child (or adolescent) may be aware of your love, but how accurate is this statement? "I'm sure my child (or adolescent) feels loved my me."
Our words can be used powerfully to encourage, or discourage. To what degree is this statement accurate? "Verbal interactions between my child (or adolescent) and myself, weather casual or intense, are positive enough to feel good to this young person."
How accurate is this for you? "During times when there is no conflict, I regularly and directly express to my child (or adolescent) that I personally love and value him or her."
How accurate is this statement? "There is a lot of frequent and healthy physical touch and affection between me and my child or adolescent."
"During times when we are having conflict, I regularly and directly express to my child (or adolescent) that I personally love and value him or her."
"Whenever I say that I am going to impose a consequence for negative behavior, I carry out that consequence."
"Of all the promises I have made to my child (or adolescent) in the last year, large or small, I have followed through and kept my word."
Very short restrictions of privileges are generally more effective as a discipline than long ones. How accurate is the following statement? "Whenever I impose restrictions on privileges as a consequence for unacceptable behavior, it is nearly always for a very short time, (like one day or less)."
How accurate is this statement? "Imposing consequences usually results in a positive change in behavior with my young person".
How accurate is this statement? "Generally, my child or adolescent carries out activities and responsibilities even though they are uncomfortable or he or she does not really like or want to do them." (examples are homework, chores, going to school on time, or going without something they want).
"Whenever I discipline my child (or adolescent), I am carrying out of a plan or policy I have already thought through, rather than reacting from anger or frustration."
Very often parents find themselves trying to protect their son or daughter from what they see as the negative influence of the other parent. How accurate is this statement for you? "I am confident that the other parent will act in a way that is good for my child (or adolescent)." (For single parents with no co-parent, the question is: “I am confident that my child’s school or support systems are acting in a way that is good for my child (or adolescent.")
How accurate is the following statement about your situation? “As parents, we trust each other to supply whatever perspective or insight the other parent lacks and we generally see our differences as a good thing and even helpful.” (For single parents: "I have found enough good ways to fill in most of what I lack in perspective or support without the other parent.")
"Almost always, I see an actual change in behavior or attitude as a result of talking and reasoning with my child (or adolescent)."
"I can nearly always have a real back and forth conversation with my child (or adolescent), where there is honesty and openness rather than defensiveness or reluctance to talk at all."
"I am nearly always able to avoid a potential argument with my child (or adolescent) when it is just beginning."
How accurate this statement? "If I could no longer use reasoning, persuasion, or verbal debate as tools to bring emotional growth or behavior change in my child or adolescent's life, I would have plenty of other parenting tools ready and available."
How accurate is this statement? “During a typical conflict with my child (or adolescent,) the volume level is not much higher than a normal conversation."
How accurate is this statement? "My child or adolescent can share his or her personal opinion in our home without being immediately corrected or criticized by a parent."
"If ever my child or adolescent is emotionally upset or being dramatic, I can remain calm and rational rather than “losing it” myself."
How accurate is this statement to your situation? “My child (or adolescent) rarely becomes emotionally upset or dramatic when disappointed."
“When there is a conflict, we resolve it peacefully. It does not lead to arguments that I cannot seem to get out of.”
Take a moment to think of two negative emotions, that you would least like to experience. Now, how accurate is this statement? “I rarely, if ever, experience either of these unwanted emotions when dealing with my child (or adolescent).”
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